This life is more than just a read through

new journal

2006-04-25T16:49:24Z

i made a new journal so add it onto your friends page.

the username is: xsimplylizx

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-21T12:03:00

2006-04-21T16:03:50Z

is this the beginning of the end?

i really dont know what to do anymore.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-20T10:40:00

2006-04-20T14:53:16Z

whew. well these past couple of nights i have been completely drained, so i have been going to bed rather early. at around like midnight or so. (which is a big step because i used to go to bed around like 3-4am. so last night i went to bed at like, 10.50 with my delightful adonis of a man and his mom called this morning at like 7.30 and i was kinda awake, but i woke up completely and didnt feel tired anymore. so i've been up since like 7.30ish. unfortunatly my wonderful boyfriend had to go to "adult journey" class, so i watched a movie, took a shower and am currently stalking the website that tells me where my new cell phone is.

OH!!!!! big news, cant believe i didnt write about this before. dum da da dum!!!!!!!!! my car (read it and weep *MY* car that i got *MYSELF* has arrived!!!! lol, the titanic is looking to be in good shape my dad says, except for the mice living in the engine. ew.

oh and apparently my parents are sending me up something in the mail. is it... the ring i left in the shower? (i hope so) easter candy that i never got? (maaaaybe) or my personal fave... MONEY?!?!?! (probably not. but oh well) knowing my mom, it's probably a box filled with pads and tampons, because i didnt have any when i went home. (i have tons here) oh in period related news, my month long period FINALLY stopped. (note: if you are on birth control, talk to your doctor before you try to skip your period for like vacation or something. its just a big mess)

arg, so i suppose i have nothign left to write about. except this cryptic note.

person a. whom i have always had a prejudice against, has become more and more a person that under any other circumstances i could find myself liking. :sigh: what a pity.

Liz

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-12T16:29:00

2006-04-12T20:29:49Z

hola kidds.

not a whole lot has been going on around here, just the same old shit. starving and scraping up all the spare change we can so we can eat. last night i was freaking HUNGRY. i have aids tonight and im hoping to god it wont blow so i can actually like, like it. oh well. things with mike are really good.

so i thought i would bring you a picture entry since me and donna both have nothing really to do til our classes.

me and my long hair. i miss my hair.

a while back donna took these pictures of my feet (my face wasnt supposed to be in them or something, it was for an art project i think.

me and donna were trying to take some pictures of me that actually looked good, and not total crap. these were the "gems"

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-10T10:57:00

2006-04-10T15:01:57Z

ARG.

i dont really know what to write about. the last couple entries were really angry and such so im going to try to put a positive spin on this entry, lets see how that goes.

well yesterday me and mike roamed around after dinner and that was nice. we got to talking while we were lounging around gengras and it was good. then i came back here and did some work, then played a little guitar hero, i actually did a hard song. haha.

i cant think of anything so this is where i leave you.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-09T14:50:00

2006-04-09T19:13:52Z

all the old feelings are swimming up again.

this morning i spent like 20 mins crying, convinced that my dad hates me again. for whatever reason he hates me. he always has this sarcastic bitchy attitude when he talks to me. its making me just ITCH to cut again.

i just found out that they're dragging me home for easter weekend so i suppose i need to keep my arms relativly blood free. this really sucks. i havnt cut since about summer when i told my mom about it and now all the old feelings are coming back sooooooo strongly, i havnt even really wanted to cut until today.

i dont really know why im so afraid of him. i guess it goes back to middle school and high school. all i wanted to hear that he loved me and was proud of me, instead he focused all his pride on emily and got the mercades all spiffed up for her to drive (and hes not going to help me in the slightest with my car that i got myself) and all he ever did was tell me what a failure i was going to become.

some of the things that he said to me (and keep in mind these are not paraphrased, these words actually came out of his mouth)

"why do you dress like that, you look like trash"

"you better keep these words in mind for your future. you want fries with that?"

"you're going to wind up asking people if they want paper or plastic."

"you're going to grow up to be a streetwalker."

"what are you stupid?"

so basically i grew up walking on eggshells around him. it seemed all the hate he felt for laura was transferred onto me when she moved out/died.

well maybe he'll feel differently when he buries his own daughter because that is EXCACTLY the state of mind he is putting me in.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-08T18:26:00

2006-04-08T22:36:52Z

its experimental surgery time.

so kids, i guess i should fill you in what's been happning since i last wrote in here. well i got screwed MAJORLY over by fox hopyard (and if you ask my dad, of course its all my fault.) i have two more jobs lined up with friends so i can give them gas money. i know the a+p needs cashiers and it would rock the fucking socks off of me to work with britt, because we'd have our late night mcdonalds runs and i'd get ciggarettes from teh counter.

the other offer (and i may just end up taking both because god knows i need the money) is to sit at a computer all day taking orders from people buying flowers, which would, ummmmm rock? HELLO! COMPUTER! ME! SOLITARE AND MINESWEEPER AND EMAIL!!! hahaa. plus i would be working with heather and i havnt hung out with her in like 1/2 a year. aaaaaaaaaaand its a whopping 9.50 an hour which is pretty fucking sweet considering i got minimum at fox.

i found out that my boobs are horribly ginormous when me and mike went dress shopping to compare sizes for my bridesmaid dress. :sigh: unless i can go one size up we may have to look at me duct taping them down. i didnt realize that they were THAT big.

oh well. things with mike are going swimmingly but i still am sooooooo worried about when i leave to go to TEACH (the hairschool). i dont want to leave him but this is what i need to do to make myself happy, yanno? OH BOY, my dad was SO not thrilled when i told him. i really dread living at home again because he's kinda the reason i wanted to kill myself in highschool. not fun.

but if i have a car and lisence and work and friends and then in the fall-school, i shouldnt have to worry so much. he'll come around to the idea (i hope) and things will settle down. not to mention i will try to be the goldenchild. by not making a mess since i (hopefully) will never be home. and i will be cooking dinner for them which they might appreciate... yay?

i can only hope.

well i hear mike calling my name from the living room so i suppose this is where i leave you.

be safe kiddos.

Liz

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-06T00:06:00

2006-04-06T04:12:18Z

Since The Beginning of This Year 2006

1. Have you had a gf/bf? yes.
2. Have you had your birthday? no.
3. Gotten drunk? eh, kinda
4. Gotten high? no sadly
5. Smoked a cig? yes
6. Cried? yes
7. Had someone close to you pass away? no.
8. Pulled an all nighter? no.
9. Drank starbucks? no.
10. Went shopping? yes.
11. Been camping? no.
12. Been to the beach? no
13. Bought something for over $200? HA i wish
14. Met someone new? yes
15. Been out of state? yes.
16. Visited a family member? no.
17. Gone snowboarding? no.

[[In The past month]]

1. Have you had sex? yes.
2. Kissed someone? yes.
3. Slept in a friends bed? no
4. Snuck someone over? no.
5. Snuck out of your own house? no.
6. Been drunk? kinda
7. Lied? yes.
8. Gotten a car? FUCK YES. well, i learned that im going to be getting a car. :-D
9. Went over your cell phone bill? no, my cell phone was at home. :-X
10. Been called a whore? no?
11. Drove somewhere? no
12. Been away from home for over 2 nights? yes.
13. Seen an old friend? no.

[[In The Past Week]]

1. Bought something? yes
2. Choked? no.
3. Watched t.v for over 3 hours straight? no.
4. Been to the movie theatre? no.
5. Been to a party? no.
6. Gone skydiving? no.
7. Been to the beach? no
8. Smoked? yes
9. Gotten a gift from someone? no
10. Been out of control? no.

[[Lasts]]

1. Thing you bought? hair dye
2. Person you hugged? mike
3. Person you talked to? donna
4. Person to call you? matt
5. What does the last text message on your phone say? nope
6. Last time you brushed your teeth? this morning or so...
7. Last time you took a shower? god, a couple days ago
8. When was the last time you cried? dunno.
9. Last time you felt stupid? dunno
10. When was the last time you walked/ran over a mile? i have no clue. maybe today just randomly walking around campus

hidemysuicide @ 2006-04-02T22:23:00

2006-04-03T02:25:23Z

guess whos fucking trading their guitar for a fucking car.

ME!!!!!

IM SO FUCKING HAPPY

the road keeps on calling me

2006-03-29T17:22:34Z

i havnt written in a while, a nd i thought i would have something to say, but i dont. im still sleepwalking through life, not really noticing much. getting angrier and angrier and taking it out on my boyfriend. thats not to say he doesnt always deserve it though. because there are certain things i need that he just is too stubborn to deliver on. oh well though.

im working on going to all my classes, i went to them monday and im going today so that makes me proud of myself. YAY! lol.

i need to de-stress, and i dont know what to do. i really want to try primal scream therapy, but i dont know how that would work, what with the whole, living in an appt, i dont want to put a pillow over my face, and if i go outside or to the academic side, theres a chance that people will hear me and call public safety or something.

is there any destressers that anyone could recommend?

keep in mind i've tried the following.

-baths
-massages
-meditation
-sex
-giving myself neck rubs
-sleeping
-dancing
-singing
-drawing
-listning to music
-knitting
-talking to people
-cutting
-kissing (not that thats an option because mike hates kissing now :sarcastic shrug:)
-screaming
-crying and getting it out

the only ones that ever worked were kissing (go figure) and cutting and i would rather not go through that again.

help?

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-25T18:50:00

2006-03-26T01:47:14Z

so this morning i went to bed after staying up until like 5.30. i watched domino and i liked it. i like tony scott's unique way of directing his style that translates to the camera is cool and refreshing what with the dark and weird angles, and such. so i went to bed. dad woke me up at like 8 to go back to school, listened to rent in the car with him because i wanted to listen to it and because he wanted to hear what jesse l martin sounded like, since he watches him on law and order.

so we got to hartford and went shopping and then came back here. i piddled around for a while then went to sleep because i was fuckin tired, slept for about 4 hours until around 4.30 then got up and just have been hanging out. waiting for donna to get out of the bathroom so i can do her hair, and then i can take a bath.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-24T22:47:00

2006-03-25T03:52:34Z

I NEED A DRINK!

god i need a drink. i dropped the bomb on my mom that i want to go to hair school, and she came at me with all these questions like, what are the benefits of a hairdresser? questions i sure as hell i dont know the answer to, questions that would be answered at the open house that i want to go to, or the meeting i could set up with one phone call. :sigh:

in the news im an abusive fucktard of a girlfriend and should be shot.

everytime i see my dad i get the vibe that hes annoyed at me, like i felt when we used to fight and scream at each other EVERYDAY in high school. im going back tomorrow so that should make things better.

i need a drink.

:bursts into tears: i hate being this stressed.

AWW

2006-03-22T20:19:25Z

mike just came in here and gave me a flower from his backyard ( i didnt even see any in there)

i feel so loved. :)

ooh and he just took me out for mcdonalds. (heaven)

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-18T23:57:00

2006-03-19T06:02:04Z

ssurveys.

[ Current Clothes ] sweat pants, mikes nintendo shirt
[ Current Mood ] loved, wishing i was asleep.
[ Current Music ] south park is on mikes tv
[ Current Taste ] thin mints and english muffin.
[ Current Make-up ] void of makeup
[ Current Hair ] down. short.
[ Current Annoyance ] not being asleep.
[ Current Smell ] nothing
[ Current thing ] ?
[ Current Desktop Picture ] dont know
[ Current Favorite Artist ] not sure...
[ Current Favorite Group ] dont really have one
[ Current Book ] none right now
[ Current CD in CD Player ] i dont use a cd player, its all mp3.
[ Current DVD In Player ] none now
[ Current Color Of Toenails ] black
[ Current Refreshment ] nothing
[ Current Worry ] to many to list
[ Current Crush ] just my boy
[ Current Favorite Celebrity ] johnny depp, sandra bullock, ashley judd
LAST PERSON...
[ You Touched ] mike
[ You Talked to mike
[ You Hugged ] mike
[ You Instant Messaged ] no idea
[ You Yelled At ] mike, just jokingly though
[ Who Broke Your Heart ] matt... a couple times
FAVORITE...
[ Food ] chicken, mac and cheese, potatos
[ Drink ] water
[ Color ] red and black
[ Album ] dunno
[ Shoes ] my sneakers
[ Candy ] dont make me choose. right now though, i could go for some gummies
[ TV Show ] simpsons, oblongs, futurama, family guy, desperate housewives, the office, big love
[ Movie ] *shrugs* dunno
[ Dance ] umm? not sure...
[ Song ] to many to put
[ Fruit ] orange
[ Cartoon ] invader zim or simpsons or any of the other ones i put above.
ARE YOU...
[ Understanding ] i try to be. but sometimes my emotions get in the way of my understandingness
[ Open-minded ] again. i try to be. i usually am about a lot of things. not food though, im picky
[ Arrogant ] i probably am, but i dont mean to be.
[ Insecure ] yes. very very very.
[ Interesting ] i dont think i could make that call on myself.
[ Random ] yeah.
[ Hungry ] not very at the moment.
[ Friendly ] i can be.
[ Smart ] i guess, i dont try though, so sucks for me
[ Moody ] yeah.
[ Childish ] yeah
[ Hard working ] on some things
[ Organized ] hell no
[ Healthy ] not really
[ Emotionally Stable ] not really
[ Shy ] sometimes yeah
[ Attractive ] ive been told i am.
[ Bored Easily ] yep
[ Messy ] yep
[ Thirsty ] yeah
[ Responsible ] about some things
[ Obsessed ] yep
[ Angry ] yep
[ Sad ] yep
[ Happy ] yep
[ Hyper ] yep
[ Trusting ] to the point of being stupid
[ Talkative ] yeah
[ Unique ] i think so.
[ Ignored ] yep
[ Reliable ] yep, if you ever need anything important, or not, ask me and i will, almost always do it. unless its stupid, or really fucking dangerous, like. hey bee, go stick you head in the oven. yeah i dont think so...
[ Content ] yea
[ Optimistic ] sometimes, its in my nature. im a sagittarius. so... i kinda have to be.
[ Deep thinker ] yes
[ Self-disciplined ] nope
[ Sleepy ] not at the moment
[ Lonely ] i wish my boy was up here.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
[ Kill ] oh. how many bullets are in the gun? just kidding. i dont want to kill anyone.
[ Slap ] a buncha people
[ Tickle ] i dont like tickling anyone, because then they get the bright idea to tickle me back and i hate being tickled, *shudders*

--------------------------

How many keys are on your keychain?
two
What curse word do you use the most?
shit?
Do you own an iPod?
yep
Who on your Myspace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?
my boyfriend or my roommate
What time is your alarm clock set for?
its not set, ITS SPRING BREAAAAAAAAAAAK!
How many suitcases do you own?
a bunch
Do you wear flip-flops even when it's cold outside?
yep
Where do you buy your groceries from?
konover, dolla store, stop and shop, wherever really.
Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?'
take the picture
What was the last movie you watched?
the fog
Do any of your friends have children?
yep
If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you would buy?
a car
Has anyone ever called you lazy?
yep
Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?
hell fucking yeah
What CD is currently in your CD player?
none
Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?
chocolate
Has anyone told you a secret this week?
no?
When was the last time someone hit on you?
mike hit on me last night in the hot tub
What did you have for dinner?
soup
Do you wear hoodies often?
all the time
Can you whistle?
yep
Have you ever participated in a protest?
i think so
Who was the last person to call you?
jackie
What is your favorite ride at an amusement park?
some big scary rollercoaster

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
yep
What area code are you in right now?
973
Did you watch cartoons as a child?
hell yea
How big is your local mall?
tiny
How many siblings do you have?
just one now.
Are you shy around the opposite sex?
depends
What is your biggest regret?
i try not to live in the past
Have you ever had Jamba Juice?
nope
When was the last time you laughed so hard your sides hurt?
i forget
What movie do you know every line to?
a bunch. nothing comes to mind right now though except when i was younger i could recite the prince of egypt word for word.
Do you own any band t-shirts?
yeah
When was your last plane ride?
march 2002?
How many chairs are at your dining room table?
like four?
What is your favorite salad dressing?
italian
Do you read for fun?
yep
Can you speak any languages other than English?
no, but i want to learn french
Do you do your own dishes?
yep, or me and mike do them together :)
What color is your bedroom painted?
its a greyish color
Have you ever cried in public?
yep
Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?
laptop
Which do you make: wishes or plans?
why not both?
Are you always trying to learn new things?
yeah, im gonna take a sculpture class
Do you shower on a daily basis?
meh, sometimes. but its not like im rolling around in the mud either.
Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
yep
Do you believe that the guy should pay on the first date?
i dont really care.
Can you skip rocks?
yep
Have you ever been to Jamaica?
nope
What to snack on at the movie theatres?
um, snow caps or popcorn
Who was your favorite teacher?
den Oudin or Moquin

Have you ever dated someone out of your race?
no, but im not against it or anything

What is the weather like?
cool, but clear
Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
depends on their personality and stuff
Do you have an online journal?
duh
What was your favorite class in high school?
chorus
Do you enjoy traveling via airplanes?
yes, i love airplanes
What personality trait is a must-have in the opposite sex
funny, loving, caring, passionate
Have you ever been attracted to someone physically unattractive?
sure.
When was the last time you slept on the floor?
i dont remember
What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
flavored smirnoff
Does your closest Starbucks have a drive-thru?
nope
Do you like your living arrangement?
its all good.
What is your mother's hometown?
new london i think. or montville
How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
a lot
Do you eat breakfast daily?
no, but when im up here at mikes i do
What was the last thing to scare you?
not the movie the fog. haha
Are your days full and fast-paced?
no i like laaaazy days
Did you ever get in trouble for talking in class?
yep
What is your favorite fruit?
orange?
Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?
nah
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
20 but its not for a loooooong time.
Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
not really
Do you believe in life on other planets?
of course
Have you ever been to Six Flags?
yep
Who was the last person to piss you off?
im not saying
Do you believe that God has a gender?
no
What was the last thing you ate?
english muffin and thin mints
Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?
opposite sex, definatly, girls are too catty and vindictive
What did you dress up as for your first Halloween?
i believe the earliest i can remember was a bunny, because my dad was a bunny in a hat and we were like, kinda dressing the same?
How did your parents pick your name?
i dont know...
Do you like mustard?
no
What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
i dont know
Would you ever sky dive?
yep
Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?
on my side
What character from a movie most reminds you of yourself?
i dont know, i dont care
Have you ever bid for something on ebay?
nope
What do you think of Angelina Jolie being pregnant?
i think a lotta people need to remember that she got pregnant after committing adultery
Do you enjoy giving hugs?
yep
Would you consider yourself to be fashionable?
meh, not really
Do you own a digital camera?
yep
If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
flattered but spoken for
What celebrities have you been compared to?
neve campbell
Who is your favorite Star Wars character?
han solo. so hot.
Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but never do?
yeah
What books, if any, have made you cry?
a bunch
Do you think you're attractive?
sometimes
What are you allergic to?
stuff
Are you a jealous person?
yes very
What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
i dont really have one.
Do you ever feel guilty after eating meat?
nope
If you were born the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
gregory
Did you ever celebrate "Pi Day" in school?
nope

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-15T15:01:00

2006-03-15T20:04:20Z

beware the ides of march indeed! today started with me crying my eyes out (this was before i went to sleep) woke up. studied my ass off, to find the midterm is going to be held AFTER spring break. which i suppose is cool, because i need more time to study. and somewhere between here and my classroom, my ID went missing. :sigh: so now i cant eat today, because there is NOTHING in the appt and i have no money to buy anything, and i cant get a meal because of my stupid fucking card.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-14T14:23:00

2006-03-14T19:24:05Z

people still havnt done this!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=LizzardxLiz

yeoza

2006-03-14T19:21:13Z

allright. i havnt really written in a while so i suppose i should.

today is me and mikes one year anniversary. YAY!

and its going pretty good. hes going to come over just to spend time with me to snuggle and maybe take a shower or something before he starts filming his movie. so then this friday we're hopping on a train and we're going to head into NYC and there his mom is going to pick us up. we're going to his house where he's going to film more of his movie, and i'm going to. :gulp: meet more of his family.

[insert nerves x10000000 here] (i hate first impressions, i always feel i acted too stupid, too childish, too uptight) but there are gonna be little kids there, so that'll be cool, because i love little kids. :) and im going to meet his grandparents. :double gulp: so that will be... fun.

and then when he drops me off hes gonna meet my grandparents. the only thing that sucks about going home with him is that i cant sleep with him. i mean we've been sleeping together (and i mean that in the most platonic sense) for a year and i still cant snuggle up to him when i sleep at his house or mine. they probably wont let us ever sleep together either, unless like, we get married or something. :sigh: oh well. just hanging out with him over the break will be good enough for me. :)

i'm getting used to wearing all my accesories again because i have too many necklaces and earrings to let them all go to waste. so over the weekend i organized all of my earrings and necklaces. :) it was fun in one of those borin ways. :-p

and over the past two weekends i watched the back to the future trilogy (which was AWESOME) and the original star wars trilogy (DOUBLE AWESOME!) then in my history class my teacher was like, today we'll be talking about the roman empire taking over the republic. and i snorted and like started laughing.

this morning was... weird. we got a lightning storm and it hit on campus (which is more regular than you would probably believe.) then i stayed up until like 6. then donnas alarm woke me up at nine, and i took a little like 30 min nap at around noon, then went to get a sammich with my boy.

so i am pooped, i think im gonna take another nap before mike comes over.

:yawn:

bye bye everybody.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-10T19:04:00

2006-03-11T00:05:05Z

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello/pudding to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

re: what is this

2006-03-09T20:27:30Z

allright, so i was carefully prodding and poking when all of a sudden it EXPLODED on my finger. a HUGE amount of pus, i suppose it was a pimple after all, but i think im gonna throw up now because that is really fucking sick

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-09T02:10:00

2006-03-09T07:14:13Z

ok. definatly scared now.

all today i was like, wow my leg hurts, i think i pulled my groin muscle or something. so just now i went to look at it, to see if there was a bruise or anything, there is a huge purple bruise there and this dime sized bump thats about as thick as a pea.

im trying to tell myself not to freak out about it or anything, but its gotten to the point where it hurts to walk hurts to sit and anything. needless to say, i dont think im gonna get boned tonight. :(

but still! its scary!!! so tomorrow me and mike are going to go to Health Services and see whats wrong with me.

What (besides like, cancer or an STD) would cause me to get a bump on like my inner theigh right over my groin muscle?

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-08T21:33:00

2006-03-09T02:34:09Z

do it pleaaase

http://kevan.org/johari?name=LizzardxLiz

hidemysuicide @ 2006-03-06T20:38:00

2006-03-07T01:38:35Z

one of the bruces died today.

hidemysuicide @ 2006-02-28T22:10:00

2006-03-01T03:11:14Z


Self-Injury: You are NOT the only one.

Tuesday, March 1, 2006 is SI Awareness Day.

"We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. Our common link is this: We are in pain. We self-injure. And we are not freaks."

Plain Orange - Active self injurer
Orange & White - Recovered/Trying to stop self injurer
Yellow & Orange - Suicidal & self injurer

Blue and Red - Depression/Mental Illness and Eating Disorders

hidemysuicide @ 2006-02-27T15:23:00

2006-02-27T20:26:31Z

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)

Tiger Lily Bloomfield

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy)

Bonnie Hershy

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, last four letters of your last name)

E Ouse

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school)

Kitten Lyme-Old Lyme

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)

Leigh Norwich

6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of favorite aunt/uncle, cell phone Company you use)

Brent Cingular

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)

Houinebru

hidemysuicide @ 2006-02-20T23:10:00

2006-02-21T04:11:05Z

It seems crazy but you must believe
There's nothing calculated, nothing planned
Please forgive me if I seem naive
I would never want to force your hand
But please understand, I'd be good for you

I don't always rush in like this
Twenty seconds after saying hello
Telling strangers I'm too good to miss
If I'm wrong I hope you'll tell me so
But you really should know, I'd be good for you
I'd be surprisingly good for you

I won't go on if I'm boring you
But do you understand my point of view?
Do you like what you hear, what you see
And would you be, good for me too?

I'm not talking of a hurried night
A frantic tumble then a shy goodbye
Creeping home before it gets too light
That's not the reason that I caught your eye
Which has to imply, I'd be good for you
I'd be surprisingly good for you